When it concerns virginity, there room a the majority of myths out there. And while the expression “popping your cherry” can lead you come imagine a explode of blood, that’s no really just how it works. If some civilization bleed after having penis-in-vagina (P-in-V) sex because that the very first time, others nothing — and also whether friend bleed or not doesn’t say anything around whether you were “really” a virgin or not. Let’s talk around virginity, blood, and also what to expect the an initial time you have actually sex.

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Let’s obtain one thing clear: There room a lot of of various ways to have sex. While society tends come think of shedding your virginity or "popping your cherry" as a straight woman or right man having penis-in-vagina sex for the first time, that’s a an interpretation that pipeline out a many people and a lot of of different kinds that sex. Numerous LGBTQ folks walk their entirety lives without having actually P-in-V sex, after all.
When it comes under to it, virginity is a social construct, not a biological reality — and unless did you do it very recently had sex, a physician won’t have the ability to tell the difference in between a vagina that’s had sex and a vagina that hasn’t. Yet whether you specify “losing her virginity” together the an initial time you have P-in-V sex, the very first time you have actually oral or anal sex, the an initial time you acquire naked v a partner, the first time you have an orgasm through someone else — or any type of other definition — having actually sex because that the an initial time can feel emotionally significant. (But if that doesn’t, that’s okay, too.)
Let’s focus on P-in-V sex for currently — we'll come earlier to other kinds that sex later. A many of human being think the everyone v a vagina bleeds after ~ their an initial time having P-in-V sex, but we know this isn’t true. Number vary, however one 1998 study discovered that 63% of women did not suffer bleeding after the an initial time they had actually P-in-V sex. So both bleeding and not bleeding are normal, however you’re a little much more likely not to bleed.
There space two key reasons world with vaginas might bleed after ~ their an initial time having P-in-V sex: tearing the hymen and lack that lubrication. We’re walking to go into much more discussion around these in a minute, but first, save in mental that as soon as we to speak “bleed,” we’re talking around just a small bit that blood — you might notification a red smear ~ above the condom, you might see a little of blood ~ above toilet paper when you wipe after ~ peeing (which you have to do after sex), or girlfriend might notice a couple of drops of blood on your underwear. This blood is much more like the spotting you might see between periods than a full-on period.
There space a many misconceptions about the hymen, i m sorry is also called the vaginal corona, or simply the corona. “The hymen is a slim membrane that partly covers the entrance of the vagina,” sex educator and trauma specialist Jimanekia Eborn explains. This much-discussed membrane is stretchy and also thin, and it’s situated near the quality opening. The what we contact a vestigial feature, an interpretation that while plenty of thousands the years back it may have had actually a purpose, our bodies really don’t have actually a usage for it currently — prefer your wisdom teeth or her appendix.
Some human being are born with an ext hymenal tissue than others — and some people with vaginas are born without a hymen at all. And while particular descriptions the the hymen do it sound like a solid organization that you can “break” — prefer the Kool-Aid man bursting through a wall surface — that’s really not just how it works. Together with being stretchy, for the vast majority of people, the hymen doesn’t totally cover the vaginal opening. In the rare cases that the hymen does cover the entire vaginal opening, it’s called an imperforate hymen. As soon as this happens, civilization need to have minor surgery once they start menstruating so the their duration blood can exit their body.
Your hymen will progressively wear away end your entirety life, for a whole bunch that reasons: every little thing from your hormones changing to period blood leaving her body come masturbation to physical activity to, yes, sex. Return you can have heard that you deserve to “lose her virginity” by using a tampon, law the splits, or talk a horse, the isn’t true, due to the fact that those activities are nothing like sex (trust me). If you do bleed after having sex because that the first time, it could be because your hymen has stretched or take it — however it doesn’t “break.” and you might stretch or tear her hymen at other times, doing totally non-sexual activities, and an alert a little bit of blood then, too.
One usual reason the some human being bleed after ~ the an initial time they have actually sex is because their vagina wasn’t very lubricated and the friction from sex resulted in an abrasion — this also way that sex could feel uncomfortable or painful. To avoid this, make certain that you’re an extremely turned on prior to you have sex — invest time top top foreplay, outercourse, and maybe oral sex or fingering rather of going right to P-in-V penetration. Also, use lube — it adds some extra wetness and also makes everything feel far better (just keep in mind that oil-based lubricants aren’t safe to use v condoms). If girlfriend bleed after having actually sex as soon as it’s not your an initial time, this could be the explanation, too.
In part cases, bleeding after ~ sex might indicate a health condition like a vaginal infection or endometriosis. If girlfriend bleed your first time having actually P-in-V sex yet not succeeding times, this more than likely isn't the reason. However if you keep noticing bleeding as you have actually sex more often, then you'll probably want to obtain things confirm out. “If there is continued bleeding, it might be a tear in the vagina from aggressive sex, or there might be something the is wrong v the cervix,” describes Eborn. “If that is something the is continued, one should absolutely get it watched by a gynecologist.”
If you didn't bleed after shedding your virginity, that doesn't typical you weren't a virgin. Choose we said, different people have different amounts of hymenal tissue and different quantities of lubrication — and more than half of people with vaginas who've had P-in-V sex didn't bleed ~ their an initial time. Therefore if friend didn't bleed, don't stress — if the minute was far-ranging to you, it's still significant.
Vaginas might bleed ~ having any type of kind of sex that involves vaginal penetration — such together being fingered or using a sex toy — for comparable reasons as bleeding after ~ P-in-V sex: the hymen gets stretched or torn, the fingers or toy reason an abrasion or little cut, or one of the health conditions mentioned above. Bleeding ~ anal sex (or anal fingering or using a sex toy) might also indicate a tear or abrasion, or a hemorrhoid (a puffy vein in your anus), and in rare cases, a perforation in her colon. Girlfriend shouldn’t an alert bleeding after any type of oral sex, therefore if girlfriend do, you need to see a doctor. If a penis bleeds after any type of kind the sex, the urethra, prostate, or foreskin may have been irritated, but it could additionally indicate a wellness condition, so you should see a doctor.

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While some civilization with vaginas feeling minor pain or discomfort when they have actually P-in-V sex for the first time (or first couple of times), if girlfriend start having sex and also it feel bad, you can stop. Shot spending a lot of time on foreplay and also other sexual tasks before start penetration, use plenty that lube, walk slowly, shot a various position, and communicate v your partner. And also that goes because that any person having actually any kind of sex. Remember, sex need to be fun and also feel good.
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